writerinside

Memories retain their aroma best in sealed containers
So...a couple of months ago I was walking along Haight and passed by a recycled bookstore with a $1 bin on the sidewalk. Of course, I had to stop and poke through it. And what did I discover but books 4 and 5 of a TRILOGY I cherished as a teenage geek. Piers Anthony's The Apprentice Adept. I never knew he'd written two more books.

I snatched them up, then set about looking for the first three so I could relive that childhood pleasure. It took some doing. They're out of print and evidently even the library's copies have walked off. I found 2 and 3 in other used bookstores but couldn't find the very first one until 2 days ago. The SF public library, main branch, did some major remodeling and the long-lost paperback evidently showed up again. I yoinked it and started reading yesterday whilst on the bike at the gym.

*sigh* Piers Anthony is a fucking perv. Sweet Jesus.

I can't tell you how rabid I was about these books while I was growing up. I wore them out like no others. I loved them. I can see why now - I was just hitting puberty. I think that's an important point. I'd forgotten that everyone in the first book is naked. A sociological thing. Clothing is not allowed. And so literally every page mentions "nicely jiggling breasts" or "full-formed crotch" or the various comforts and discomforts of being totally nude 95% of the time (except during certain competitions or in private, where a touch of clothing is considered highly erotic). Oh yeah, and I'm up to Chapter 4 and the two main characters have had sex twice. Does this guy know his audience or what?

I can't believe how bad the writing is. Ridiculous plot, ridiculous characters, unrealistic EVERYTHING, almost no descriptive language. Basically, take a really cool idea, add nekkid people, and you got a story PERFECT for teenage boys.

It's a cliche at this point - don't go back and read the things you loved as a child. The Crap Fairies (thank you, Kater) always work hardest when you're away for a few years. Still, the writerly part of me is a little bit inspired. I know, I freakin KNOW I can write better than this. With all due respect to Mr. Anthony.

Current Mood: Inspired

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